I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
