Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
