I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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