Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my being single is dangerous.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
