They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
