bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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