So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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