it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
