Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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