my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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