yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize