I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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