Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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