One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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