I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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