they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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