K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize