we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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