So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
