Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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