redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
