i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
