who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i came on her dog
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
