Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Houston, we have a blender
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
