Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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