she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
