the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
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