would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
