I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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