Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The beer is more important than you right now.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize