I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
