He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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