Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
