i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
