hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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