someone get that fucking seahorse.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
