So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
