Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
are you so shy because you have an std?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
