new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize