There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
