'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
