Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I am available for nakedness
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
