he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
