when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
