hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
