I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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