me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
