I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
