Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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