Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
