let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
