O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
