"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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