i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
