dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
