I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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