the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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