My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I didn't notice because vodka
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
