I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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