In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
