he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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