i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize