But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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