it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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