if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
