We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
