is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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